People with this schema tend to give up control to others, allowing themselves to be dominated or directed. They submit not because they want to, but because they feel they must—to avoid conflict, punishment, rejection, or abandonment.
Two main forms of subjugation are common:
- Subjugation of needs: clients give up their own desires and follow others’ wishes.
- Subjugation of emotions: clients suppress feelings, especially anger, out of fear that others will retaliate or turn against them.
At the core of this schema lies the belief that one’s own needs and emotions are not valid or important to others. Over time, this creates deep resentment and stored anger, which can surface as passive-aggressive behavior, sudden outbursts of rage, psychosomatic symptoms, emotional numbness, or substance use.
Most clients surrender to the schema completely. They become excessively submissive, compliant, and hypersensitive to feeling trapped or controlled. They often describe themselves as powerless, bullied, or helpless—believing that others hold all the authority and that they must obey to stay safe.
Fear drives this pattern. Deep down, they are convinced that expressing their needs or emotions will lead to punishment, abandonment, or rejection. They don’t hide their feelings because it’s the “right” thing to do—they hide them because they believe they have no other choice. And if they don’t, they’re convinced there will be consequences or punishment.
This schema differs from Self-Sacrifice or Approval-Seeking, where suppression is motivated by guilt or a need to be good. In Subjugation, the pressure comes from outside—from fear of someone stronger or more dominant.
Some clients cope through avoidance, steering clear of situations where they might be controlled or trapped, even avoiding intimate relationships. Others swing to the opposite extreme, overcompensating with rebellion or defiance that often backfires.
Examples of core beliefs:
“- I’m not allowed to speak my mind
– I am powerless
– If I expressed what I really felt, I would be punished” (Bricker & Young, n.d.).
Origins of Subjugation Schema:
“- Caregivers or friends punished, threatened, or got angry when the child disagreed.
– Caregivers or friends withdrew emotionally or cut off contact when the child disagreed.
– The child was dominated or “one-upped” whenever they expressed feelings or needs.
– Loved ones tended to become worried, upset, or angry, leaving the child feeling like they had to walk on eggshells.”
(Bricker & Young, n.d.).
Treatment Goals
The primary goal is to help clients recognize that they have the right to their own needs and feelings—and to express them appropriately. Healthy expression means speaking up in the moment rather than suppressing emotions until they explode.
They learn that expressing needs and emotions respectfully is not dangerous—people who respond with empathy and understanding are safe to connect with, while those who punish or reject such expression are not good relationship choices.
Ultimately, clients learn to seek and maintain relationships in which they can be open, assertive, and emotionally authentic.
Core Treatment Strategies
Successful treatment draws on all four modalities—cognitive, behavioral, experiential, and relational work.
Cognitive Strategies
Cognitive work focuses on challenging unrealistic fears about what will happen if they assert themselves. Clients examine evidence from real experiences and test their beliefs through behavioral experiments, discovering that their fears are exaggerated.
They also learn that healthy people can tolerate others’ emotions and needs—contrary to what their childhood experiences taught them. Therapy helps them reframe the belief that self-expression is “bad” or “dangerous,” recognizing instead that it is both normal and necessary for healthy relationships.
Experiential Strategies
Experiential work is central to treating this schema. Through imagery, clients revisit early experiences of being controlled or silenced and express anger toward those authority figures—often parents—who demanded submission.
Because expressing anger feels foreign and frightening, this process takes time and persistence. The therapist encourages clients to fully connect with their anger in imagery and role-play, helping them reclaim strength and assertiveness.
Anger here is not destructive—it fuels motivation to stop being passive and to take ownership of one’s life. The more clients express it safely in therapy, the more capable they become of asserting themselves outside of it.
Behavioral Strategies
Behavioral change centers on choosing relationships that allow equality and open expression. Clients are often drawn to controlling partners, so part of therapy involves helping them identify and resist that pull.
Ideally, they seek partners who value mutual respect—someone assertive enough to maintain attraction but not domineering. They also practice assertiveness in friendships and daily interactions, learning to state their needs clearly and directly.
When clients have lived primarily for others, they may not even know what they want. Therapy then focuses on individuation—helping them rediscover their personal preferences, values, and desires.
Imagery and role-play exercises help them practice expressing these needs aloud, while cognitive-behavioral work strengthens confidence in acting on them. Over time, this restores a sense of identity and agency.
Therapeutic Relationship
In therapy, clients often project the schema onto the therapist, seeing them as another authority figure who might control or judge them. To counter this, the therapist practices limited reparenting—remaining as non-directive as possible, offering choices, and encouraging shared decision-making.
The therapist helps clients notice and verbalize anger or frustration toward the therapist when it arises, using it as an opportunity for healing and empowerment.
As clients begin to practice assertiveness, they may initially be clumsy or overcompensate—swinging from silence to aggression. The therapist normalizes these growing pains, helping them refine their expression and find a balanced middle ground.
When asked what they want or feel, clients often respond, “I don’t know.” In these cases, the schema has merged with an undeveloped self. The therapist then focuses on helping them reconnect with inner desires and emotions through imagery, journaling, and experiential work until clarity emerges.
Therapists must also be cautious not to reinforce subjugation. Because compliant clients often seem “easy” to work with, it can be tempting to equate submission with progress. In reality, it maintains the problem. Healthy therapy fosters autonomy, not obedience.
Subjugation is often one of the most treatable schemas. Once clients learn to express their feelings and stand up for themselves, progress can be rapid and long-lasting.
Resources:
-Bricker, D. C., & Young, J. E. (n.d.). An introductory guide to schema therapy: Adapted for use with the YSQ-R (Modified by O. Yalcin). https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.18302.46408
-Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide. Guilford Press.