People with the Mistrust / Abuse schema live with the expectation that others will hurt, deceive, or take advantage of them. They often assume that people have hidden motives and can’t be trusted to act fairly or kindly. Relationships are approached with caution, emotional distance, and a constant sense of alertness.
In milder cases, they simply see others as selfish or unreliable. In more severe cases, they view people as dangerous, cruel, or even abusive—physically, emotionally, or sexually. Because of this deep distrust, they avoid emotional closeness and rarely show vulnerability.
Some try to protect themselves by striking first—deceiving, rejecting, or mistreating others before anyone can hurt them. Others stay stuck in victim roles, repeatedly choosing abusive partners or tolerating mistreatment. Still others identify with the rescuer role, defending victims and confronting perceived abusers.
These clients are often hypervigilant, scanning constantly for signs of betrayal or danger. They may test others repeatedly, collecting “evidence” to confirm that no one can truly be trusted.
Examples of core beliefs
“- I can’t trust anyone
– I can’t let my guard down
– People will hurt me “ (Bricker & Young, n.d.).
Origins of Mistrust / Abuse Schema
“- The child was physically and/or sexually abused or assaulted, or sought out by an adult for physical affection that was inappropriate or uncomfortable.
– The child was repeatedly humiliated, teased/bullied, or put down by caregivers or peers.
– People close to the child could not be trusted (e.g., they betrayed confidences, exploited weaknesses. to their advantage, were manipulative, made promises they had no intention of keeping, and lied often).
– Caregivers were mistrusting and warned the child not to trust people outside of the family.” (Bricker & Young, n.d.).
Therapeutic Goals
The main goal of therapy is to help clients recognize that not everyone is dangerous or untrustworthy. While some people can be harmful, many are safe, reliable, and capable of genuine care.
Healing means learning to protect oneself when necessary—by setting boundaries or leaving abusive situations—while also allowing trust to develop where it’s deserved.
Over time, clients begin to see trust as something that exists on a continuum rather than all-or-nothing. They learn that trustworthy people do not have to be perfect—they just need to be consistent and “good enough.”
As clients start to take emotional risks, share their inner world, and test safety in healthy ways, they find that some people can respond with honesty, empathy, and respect.
Core Treatment Strategies
Therapeutic Relationship
For clients with a history of abuse or betrayal, the relationship with the therapist becomes the foundation of healing. Therapy provides a new kind of experience—one of safety, stability, and respect—where the client’s story is finally heard and believed.
The goal is to rebuild a sense of emotional security. The therapist offers a consistent, trustworthy presence, allowing clients to share painful memories at their own pace. Many alternate between emotional numbness and intense re-experiencing—typical trauma reactions. Gradually, they begin to process and integrate these experiences within a safe, grounded relationship.
Cognitive Strategies
Cognitive work focuses on softening the belief that “people will always hurt or exploit me.” Clients learn to recognize that danger is not everywhere and that people vary in their capacity for empathy and honesty.
Therapy also addresses guilt, shame, and self-blame—helping clients stop excusing abusive behavior and to place responsibility where it truly belongs. Through gentle correction, they learn that being mistreated was never their fault, and that they deserved care, not harm.
Experiential Techniques
Experiential work includes rescripting traumatic memories—but only when the client feels ready and safe enough to do so. A central task is releasing anger toward those who caused harm, rather than turning it inward or displacing it onto others.
In imagery, clients revisit scenes of past abuse. The therapist appears as a stable, protective figure—standing up for the child, stopping the abuse, and offering comfort. This imagery helps the client begin to internalize a sense of protection and safety.
Clients also practice imagining themselves opening up to trustworthy people in the present, learning to differentiate between those who deserve anger (past abusers) and those who deserve closeness (safe, current figures).
Behavioral Strategies
As trust slowly builds, clients begin to test new ways of relating. They start forming bonds with reliable, kind people and learn to share vulnerability in gradual steps.
Behavioral change often includes:
- Choosing partners who are emotionally safe and non-abusive.
- Ending contact with those who exploit or manipulate.
- Setting firm boundaries and saying no without guilt.
- Joining survivor or support groups for validation and connection.
- Reducing controlling or punitive reactions to small mistakes.
- Stopping the pattern of “testing” others to prove loyalty.
When possible, including a partner in therapy helps correct distorted perceptions and build mutual understanding.
The therapist models healthy strength and empathy—showing that care and firmness can coexist. This modeling helps clients learn that safety doesn’t require control or aggression.
Therapeutic Stance and Process
Trust takes time. The therapist and client must be honest and open about doubts, fears, and misinterpretations as they arise. Emotional processing is postponed until enough trust has been built.
A key focus is empowerment—helping clients reclaim their sense of strength and self-agency that was lost in abusive environments. Clients are encouraged to have an active role in the pace and direction of therapy, restoring a sense of control over their lives.
Abuse breaks the natural human bond and replaces it with fear and isolation. The therapist becomes a bridge back to connection—a real, caring person who witnesses and validates the client’s suffering without judgment.
Many survivors wrestle with guilt and moral confusion about what they felt or did during abuse. The therapist’s role is not to give answers but to offer a safe, steady presence where the client can explore these feelings and arrive at self-compassion and clarity.
Boundaries are essential. By staying grounded and professional, the therapist provides safety for both sides. Work on traumatic memories proceeds slowly, at the client’s pace, ensuring emotional stability throughout the process.
Therapists must also be aware of their own reactions. Hearing trauma stories can trigger vicarious trauma—feelings of helplessness, anger, or sadness. Without awareness, they may overidentify and slip into rescuing, which can unintentionally reinforce the client’s sense of powerlessness. Providing warmth and care must always be balanced with clear boundaries and self-care.
Severe Presentations
In severe cases, trust may remain extremely limited. Some clients interpret everything the therapist says through suspicion and may misread care as control or manipulation. Progress can be slow when strong protective modes dominate.
Others may refuse to share personal material or complete written assessments, fearing it might later be used against them. They might withhold details or test the therapist’s integrity by provoking reactions. The therapist validates these fears while gently showing how such behaviors keep the schema alive.
Healing ultimately comes when the client internalizes the therapist as a trustworthy, caring presence. From there, they can begin to form safe, reciprocal relationships in real life—where trust, protection, and mutual respect finally become possible.
Resources:
-Bricker, D. C., & Young, J. E. (n.d.). An introductory guide to schema therapy: Adapted for use with the YSQ-R (Modified by O. Yalcin). https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.18302.46408
-Young, J. E., Klosko, J. S., & Weishaar, M. E. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide. Guilford Press.
“(Bricker & Young, n.d.).